6:30 am, Wednesday, 11/11/2009, Veterans’ Day, 12 Kan/Seed, Lizard (Composition info, including Mayan calendar day.) (Interesting that this day, numerologically, is 11-11-11, since 2 + 0 + 0 + 9 = 11)
Something has crossed this mind a number of times which, in its basic form is an acknowledgment that, considering the health and low energy state of this body, I have done well in spending the hours listening and attuning to lectures of light. This idea comes as a surprise.
As this concept or idea has not yet progressed to any deeper understanding, beyond this basic framework, I come to the journal, to see if it will do so, here...relying on the might and power of 'mere' journaling. Ha!
It is an unwonted, an unaccustomed gentleness with which this idea suggests I consider the self. It shows up, as well, the self-hidden general tendency to think ill of the self, to consider it lazy, or lacking... This looking at the self and her actions as being somehow okay, even fine or admirable, is different; it is a surprising new perspective.
This, in itself, illustrates energies out of alignment with Love. Thus, I witness them, observing, learning; but not interfering, not seeking to change anything, but rather to let any change come from within.
Fairly well have I learned the ultimate futility of approaching change from without, seeking to impose it upon the self by force or act of will. While this can well succeed for the short term, it is no long-term solution to anything, for it is false, at its base, seeking to form and contour the real (the inner) by the unreal (the outer).
What comes to me, now, is the understanding that this body has been operating in a very low energy state for some years. In this state, it is little wonder that housework, chores and so on seldom get done. The realization arises that, given sufficient energy, these things would be done, and done with good will and joy.
It also comes that, in this low energy state, listening to uplifting lectures and instruction is good use of what energy the body has. Often there was the laying down, yet not at all asleep, listening with strong intent and heart focus, exercising the soul in focused awareness. This is in clear contrast to the tendency to think ill of the self, considering it lazy, etc.
Spending time with this observation, I surrender it unto awareness, trusting that the simple witnessing of it will bring about the appropriate result; change, if that be called for, or not. Either one is (and must be) fine.
What comes to me, now, is the understanding that this body has been operating in a very low energy state for some years. In this state, it is little wonder that housework, chores and so on seldom get done. The realization arises that, given sufficient energy, these things would be done, and done with good will and joy.
It also comes that, in this low energy state, listening to uplifting lectures and instruction is good use of what energy the body has. Often there was the laying down, yet not at all asleep, listening with strong intent and heart focus, exercising the soul in focused awareness. This is in clear contrast to the tendency to think ill of the self, considering it lazy, etc.
Spending time with this observation, I surrender it unto awareness, trusting that the simple witnessing of it will bring about the appropriate result; change, if that be called for, or not. Either one is (and must be) fine.
The soul seems to arise, hopefully, peeking a tender head up–in hope of not being bashed by negative self-image and such thoughts slung its way. How very interesting.
So, it appears this critical energy has been quite hard on the soul, who has been thus forced to hide its tenderness under wraps, lest it be wounded. Hmmm. This was not part of the awareness, certainly; it comes as surprise. Hmmm, indeed.
Okay, I accept that this is so, that it is what it is. Offering tender apologies to the soul, I set the intent to do no more harm, thus, but to both recognize the tenderness of the unguarded soul, and to nurture it, that it may both come forth and bloom. So be it.
Already it rises, a shining smile on its ‘face,’ to be thus greeted. It spreads its wings. Help me, dear Spirit Guides and angel companions, dear Family of Light, to be ever aware of the soul, and of its tenderness. Help me, please, to be fully aware of all tendency to criticism, especially self-criticism. I pray for its transmutation in Love’s fires, that the soul may fully bloom.
Ah, I feel the soul not only rise, but ‘spread out’ to encompass, to embody, as it were, all portions of this body, now that this intention is set. Dear, courageous soul! Yes, moon-in-Cancer soul with your tender feelings, do come forth, and teach me to handle you gently, to embody you, even, and become aware of self as this tenderness and sensitivity.
Gratitude abounds. Ah, life is grand, good, and beautiful! Yes, there is pain and challenge, as well, but, met with equanimity, the suffering is gone out of these. With sufficient simple witnessing, all is bound to change, for change is the major constant in 3D life. Thus, there is no ‘reason’ not to greet whatever arises, be it pleasure or pain, with warm welcome. So be it.
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6:00 pm
An interesting note:
Just learned that George, an elderly family friend, recently crossed over; funeral Sunday. What’s interesting is my last conversation with the VA Hospital worker who knew George so well (by his frequent treatments taken there).
So, it appears this critical energy has been quite hard on the soul, who has been thus forced to hide its tenderness under wraps, lest it be wounded. Hmmm. This was not part of the awareness, certainly; it comes as surprise. Hmmm, indeed.
Okay, I accept that this is so, that it is what it is. Offering tender apologies to the soul, I set the intent to do no more harm, thus, but to both recognize the tenderness of the unguarded soul, and to nurture it, that it may both come forth and bloom. So be it.
Already it rises, a shining smile on its ‘face,’ to be thus greeted. It spreads its wings. Help me, dear Spirit Guides and angel companions, dear Family of Light, to be ever aware of the soul, and of its tenderness. Help me, please, to be fully aware of all tendency to criticism, especially self-criticism. I pray for its transmutation in Love’s fires, that the soul may fully bloom.
Ah, I feel the soul not only rise, but ‘spread out’ to encompass, to embody, as it were, all portions of this body, now that this intention is set. Dear, courageous soul! Yes, moon-in-Cancer soul with your tender feelings, do come forth, and teach me to handle you gently, to embody you, even, and become aware of self as this tenderness and sensitivity.
Gratitude abounds. Ah, life is grand, good, and beautiful! Yes, there is pain and challenge, as well, but, met with equanimity, the suffering is gone out of these. With sufficient simple witnessing, all is bound to change, for change is the major constant in 3D life. Thus, there is no ‘reason’ not to greet whatever arises, be it pleasure or pain, with warm welcome. So be it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6:00 pm
An interesting note:
Just learned that George, an elderly family friend, recently crossed over; funeral Sunday. What’s interesting is my last conversation with the VA Hospital worker who knew George so well (by his frequent treatments taken there).
When I called the hospital about my upcoming appointment, seeing in the computer that I was also living in Clarksville, this worker asked if I knew George. I indicated that yes, I knew him when he was alive, but that he had died. I was quite sure, in that moment, that he had died.
When the worker was surprised, saying he had not heard that, I paused, looking within to see how I knew of the death. I realized I did not know where the assurance came from. Since no one had told me of his passing, maybe I was wrong. Becoming quite embarrassed, I begged the worker not to share my words with George.
When the worker was surprised, saying he had not heard that, I paused, looking within to see how I knew of the death. I realized I did not know where the assurance came from. Since no one had told me of his passing, maybe I was wrong. Becoming quite embarrassed, I begged the worker not to share my words with George.
How would I would answer to George for saying such a thing? It felt strange, and quite embarrassing. I had been so quickly sure, so positive he had passed. Where did that arise? Well, at the time, though I didn’t mention it, I felt it might be an indication that George would be passing, soon. Now it appears that could be so.
God bless you and yours, George. Though I’ll be out of town during your services, I’ll send up some prayers for you. God bless you abundantly.
God bless you and yours, George. Though I’ll be out of town during your services, I’ll send up some prayers for you. God bless you abundantly.
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